'Socha zaroor, par hua nahi' - Mohammed Shami recalls suicidal thoughts

Published - 14 Sept 2025, 16:28 IST | Updated - 14 Sept 2025, 16:49 IST

Indian pacer Mohammed Shami recently revealed that he had thoughts of ending his life during his struggling days, but he overcame those by reminding himself of how much the game of cricket had given him.

In July 2025, the Calcutta High Court directed Shami to pay his estranged wife, Hasin Jahan, and their daughter a total monthly maintenance of INR 4 lakh. Of this amount, Jahan was supposed receive INR 1.5 lakh per month, while their daughter being entitled to INR 2.5 lakh per month. Jahan, a former model, married Shami in 2014, and the couple welcomed their daughter in 2015. They separated in 2018 after Jahan accused Shami of domestic violence.

"Socha zaroor, par hua nahin, yeh shukr hai varna World Cup miss ho jata mere se, kyunki jab wo thought aaya tha mere dimaag mein ki yeh time hai life ke end ka, jis cheez ke liye mujhe itna naam diya, jis cheez ke liye media mere pichhe hai, usko chhod ke is jump ke chakkar mein...Woh thought, woh pyaar yaad aayin. Socha chalo isko chhodo, chalo game me lagte hain phir,” Shami said in the episode Aap Ki Adalat with Rajat Sharma.

(The thought came to my mind, but it did not happen. Thank God, otherwise I'd have missed the World Cup. The thought came to my mind to end my life, but then I decided, this game, which gave me so much name, why should I jump (to death), forgetting all these things. I thought of love and affection. Then I decided, forget this and focus on my game)

Shami was asked about the abusive comments directed at him on social media following allegations of domestic violence. He admitted that he was scared by the things being said about him online. In 2018, Jahan filed a petition in the Alipore Court, accusing Shami and his family of harassment. She demanded INR 7 lakh per month from the Bengal cricketer to cover the family’s maintenance expenses.

"Bad things are spoken about, but nowadays those things are spoken about which do not exist. I am most scared of that. Yesterday, I was looking at a photograph, and I didn't know when I had taken it. The number of allegations that have been levelled against me in the last 6-7 years, maybe even a terrorist would not have been levelled so many allegations. I cannot do anything about this,” Shami said.

Shami was last seen in competitive cricket on May 2, 2025, turning out for Sunrisers Hyderabad (SRH) in the IPL. It was a forgettable outing for the pacer, as he went wicketless and conceded 48 runs in three overs against the Gujarat Titans (GT). Overall, he managed only six wickets in nine matches during the IPL 2025 season. Since the ICC Champions Trophy in March 2025, Shami has not featured for the Indian national team.